RealityCheck: Are my friendships worth keeping?
When I was younger partying all weekend, admittingly sometimes even, acting a little reckless was fun. Now in my 30's, my priorities have shifted. I had to make the decision to finally walk away from a group of women whom I had called friends for years. I recognized that inexcusable behavior in public was a constant occurrence, and it simply made us all look foolish. I did not want to be associated with this anymore. I decided to disconnect from this group of friends of whom I began to realize more toxic than fulfilling.
There were times when my friends were out partying and would end up getting into altercations with other women for nothing other than immature reasons. In my moments of reflection, I would think, couldn’t we hang out and have fun without making a scene? I certainly grew exhausted of this. It was seemingly more like episodes from reality television and have grown older with more responsibilities, and there was no reason to still act like menaces. Bouts would end up trickling onto social networks, and jabs toward me posted online.
Disassociating myself, I anticipated that if my friendships were valued, perhaps we could start a conversation. Indeed, I had an emotional connection as over the years we built memories together so surely it was difficult. It was my hope that my separation would allow them to consider why I had distanced myself. However, as time went on, it became apparent that there was no interest in having any discussion about how to maintain our friendship once they learned that I did not agree with the senseless acts. I understood maybe there is no value in these friendships.
Not even sure how I even maintained these friendships for so many years. I decided to take a stance, and am no longer surrounding myself with the negativity. I guess I am growing up, and probably, I outgrew them.
If you are in a situation like this, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Photography by Omar Lopez.